she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
