Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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