I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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