he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Randomize
