like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
