i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
