You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
