ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
