This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
