I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The uberlube is also flammable
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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