i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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