wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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