No stitches, just platelets and will power
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
