if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
