This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am available for nakedness
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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