The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
