I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I checked into jail on foursquare
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I stole a fireplace last night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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