idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am available for nakedness
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
