I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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