Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She said her name was "party"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
