eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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