I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
