life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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