At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
ugly people sure do ruin things
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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