is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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