I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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