omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
