Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
