Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
