i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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