look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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