I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
