Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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