I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
