That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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