its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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