piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
