sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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