Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
