her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
