I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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