the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
