She went from zero to smokin in five shots
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
