she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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