There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
