Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
