I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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