this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
