I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
