What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
my god I love twenty year old dicks
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
