yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
