Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
