Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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